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Nintendo is going to release a SNES classic!!!

by on April 19, 2017
 

Well fresh off the presses this morning is the news that Nintendo, the masters of brand new ideas, are bringing back to the masses the Super Nintendo console for the”retro re-boxing” treatment.

(Sigh)

In what seems to be another innovative new trend for this company following the most recent news of Nintendo ceasing production on their original Nes classic from last year. While either one of those first two sentences may seem like a big surprise to some…

 

Wait…hang on…I can’t…

I am going to stop right here for a minute and just say I am having a real tough time keep my sarcasm in check here. I should just rage write a scathing Reggie-Smack type of article about the decades worth of hoodwinking and bamboozling Nintendo is guilty of to the gaming world with the same games, ideas, characters, designs, etc;  then in turn the bigger majority of the gaming audiences eats it up like its the next best thing second only to a happy ending. (No not the type where you rescue a princess and JUST GET a congrats)

Woooo-sah!

Ok, so let me say this before anyone misinterprets the underlying point of this article (further)…I am not a Nintendo hater! I, just with anything FRAK related, or even in the real world, if there is some bull$h** to call or lemming march not to be a part of…then I’m that dude. Yeah, yeah…I know Im such a opinionated jerk-face I know…to speak ill of the mighty Nintendo…I must bash baby seals in the winter too!

I grew up in the era of Nintendo innovation and gaming awesome…some of my fondest memories are the days of SNES, which truth be told, I was a sophmore in high school. At the time this console was the next level of technology and amazement. My family personally had not owned a console since the days of Atari and Coleco (if you don’t know=GTFOH), which was not to big of a deal for I did grow up in the Age of Arcades and we always had a outlet for gaming. It was that or “go outside and play until the sun goes down!” was all me and my brothers or friends could do. At the time the SNES came out my parents were on some “your old enough to get a damn job and buy it yourself!” type of crap…and that thing was a 199.99, so no way I could afford that purchase.

I was dating this chick at the time and her brother had just got for a present a SNES and the first time ever I played classics like; F-Zero, Super Mario Bros and of course this was the first time I ever played Super Mario Kart!  Yes, you assumed correctly, me and that girl were doomed.

When I did decide to fly my parents coup after I graduated high school to begin college and adult life (aka the dark days) there was not a whole lot of things that brought me joy or were reliable except maybe the following…Ramen, Spades, Wu-Tang, MJ, & Super Mario Kart were at the time all I knew and loved.

So my point is, me and Nintendo have a history and while the industry continues to innovate and improve with technology and ideas, Nintendo seems to be stuck in their own time capsule called “nostalgia” for their bread and butter. Just this time and this decade most of the under-20 year old audience has no idea these are rehashes and is entranced by these revolutionary (hah!) offerings. Either that or they keep saying, ” Screw us, get their kids!!!”.

I’m  personally still waiting for Nintendo to make the simplest yet most necessary things for their games for example; how about a Mario Kart track editor dammit!!!!!!!!! Oh wait, that probably will come in the next 10 years.

Yeah, so there is your big news with Nintendo releasing another system that has already been released over 20 years ago. Let us think that hopefully this time they correct all of the issues that fell upon the re-release of the NES classic. The items like ridiculously short-corded controllers, incredibly LAME idea to put a very small amount of titles (30 out of what 700+), or to give me or the more educated gamer the reasoning or justification to crack open that case and install some pie-that allows us to play any game we want all because you (Nintendo)  think you know what’s best for the biz when you are in last place in the “game” race.

So sure to be out sometime probably in November or just when you Switch owners are really starting to get mad because you only have 2 games to play.

I swear, Nintendo is just like the current politics game where they do something that will distract you from the fact there ain’t s*** to play so here. Take some of our old s*** so maybe you forget that we are taking our time in screwing you and your dollars over.

Oh yeah and you better buy two because that sure to get cancelled in 2018 and become a collector’s edition, ha!

Hey, I was playing nice too.

Am I wrong? Let me know! Screw Zelda too.